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Jesus: We continue with our method of reading the Scriptures in a prayerful, meditative manner while listening attentively to whatever the Father might say to you . And to do this profitably, we begin with a few moments of deep interior silence and stillness. After shutting out all unnecessary distractions, especially the feelings that disturb you, spend some time reviewing the past week with Me… The important idea is to pick up a point or two that you could improve upon in the coming week. If your prayer life is something alive and active then it must keep growing constantly. That is why this review is very important.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: We enter into this prayer by first of all reading the Gospel of the Sunday. We have the story of the two disciples returning to their home at Emmaus. We note, at the outset, that the reference here is to two disciples and not apostles. This alerts us to the fact that we refer possibly to second generation Christians who even at that late date experienced difficulties with regard to the Resurrection. This is the central mystery of our faith and it will always pose problems to everyone. From their expressions we notice that these disciples were ardent followers of Jesus – they were really sad to part company with the others and give up their following of Jesus. Secondly, they were sincere and fearless: they did not just hang on even when life seemed meaningless without that visible tangible presence and power of the Risen Lord in their midst which they missed so deeply. They possibly looked for all or nothing! No half measures would do for them. That is the reason they left and were returning home to pick up the thread of their former life.

Yet, they somehow seemed to have missed the key point of My message. I had assured My disciples that I would always remain with them – surely they could not expect Me to be with them always in bodily form – if I had done something like that, then that very fact would have cancelled everything else I taught them. And so, they would have to learn to discover Me present among them in other ways, especially through faith. For the central demand that I made on all My followers was faith. Further, their main problem seems to have been: ‘How could the chosen Messiah have to suffer such a shameful death and extinction? Wasn’t he supposed to be victorious over all his enemies’? And, ‘what hope of victory would we have if our Leader himself ended so miserably?’

While all these were legitimate considerations, they needed to understand God’s ways which are quite different from human behaviour. God’s ways often appear to be the opposite of what we would think as correct or opportune. Yet, in his goodness, the Father has revealed his ways to people right from the very beginning. And so all I as Risen Lord needed to do was to take them back through the Scriptures, book by book, period by period, and show them how it had already been proclaimed and even written from ancient times that the Christ would have to suffer and thus enter into his glory. Not to understand and accept this is real foolishness. No one can change this pattern that the Father has established. If one does not accept it, one simply breaks himself against it – he does not break or do away with the pattern, but rather he destroys himself.

Notice again that this truth is not difficult to grasp – what is really threatening about it is that if this is true of the Messiah, then it must also be true of his followers. Suffering would have to be an integral part of the Christian following – and so this would pose difficulties all through the Church’s history. How are you placed with regard to this truth? How do you view the suffering that forms part of your life? Remember that the cross each person is called to carry is, as it were, tailor-made according to his/her particular circumstances. Move into deep silence and stillness and calmly hold your present cross lovingly in your hands, even if it still hurts you. See it as a gift the Father offers you with great tender love. He wants you to benefit from it and so he will not take it away nor change it for something ‘lighter.’ Accept it, embrace it and allow it to gradually, but surely, transform your attitude towards this and all other crosses in your life. Express your acceptance of it in your own words, even if these words are literally wrenched from your aching heart! Spend as much time as you need to in this exercise, and if you have done it well, you will notice a deep peace and joy suffusing your inner being. This will quicken you and send you back to your daily activity with a renewed zeal and enthusiasm.

You could also recall any experience you have had in which you came to realize that had it not been for a particular cross, your present situation would not be the happy, successful one that it is. You might even recall such incidents in the lives of persons close to you. By way of example: a young man is keen on joining the Seminary for the priesthood – but in spite of being a good student, he fails, not once but twice, in the final year of school. This fact led the Rector of the Seminary to refuse him admission as a candidate for that diocese. Later, he met another Bishop who on hearing of his keen desire accepted him for his mission diocese where he felt the demands were not so great. Having gone through the seminary and received ordination, this young priest was assigned to a mission station. Here he found he had plenty of time to himself and thus gradually discovered his ‘new’ vocation as a writer. All through his priestly career he must have written over a hundred and fifty books on various topics of interest particularly to youth. What a wonderful and fruitful apostolate – which perhaps would not have been his, had he joined his own diocese! God’s ways are marvelous … all we need is deep trust in his loving plans for us.

Remain in deep silence and stillness for a long time allowing God to work on you. As you emerge from this silence, remember a few others who are in a similar situation and pray for them. End your prayer with a brief vocal prayer or hymn.

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Jesus: We have been graced with the opportunity of another hour of prayer and so with gratitude and love we enter into this prayer – maintaining a few minutes of deep inner silence and stillness at the start… Then give Me a brief account of how you lived your prayer of the last week … Recall briefly the importance of both these points so that you can do them more energetically.

[Time for silence and reflection]

Jesus: After going through the entire Gospel passage at a glance, you could focus on My words: “I am the gate of the sheepfold…” A gate is meant to keep out harm and to protect what is within. That is the mission the Father entrusted to Me – “to save his people from their sins!” From My experience of people I discovered that most people ‘stray’ into sin rather than go after it hammer and tongs, as it were. This happens either due to ignorance, or their gullibility, their propensity to place trust in the wrong persons and sayings. Most people realize that sin is what harms them personally as well as others who are directly or indirectly involved in it. And so, they would rather keep away from it.

Yet, sin always disguises itself in the form of something that appears good, desirable, profitable, and so on. If the person concerned does not stop to think things out more calmly and carefully, then he very easily falls prey to temptation. You will have noticed that when someone wishes to deceive you, say with a business deal or to pressure you into buying his product, he will most likely add something like this: ‘You are the last person I approach; the offer will cease from tomorrow – and so you have to decide quickly!’ The moment you sense such pressure being applied, you can be sure that it is most likely a bogus offer. My function as the gate is to keep such situations away from you, or if they still approach you, I am there to stand beside you and guide you into making the proper choice. You recall how at the gate of the Garden of Gethsemane I clearly stated to the soldiers who came to arrest Me: “I told you that I am he. So if you are looking for me, let these men go” (Jn 18:8-9). I will not allow My followers to suffer harm or pain unnecessarily.

But for My mission to be effective, I need your cooperation. I cannot make the choice for you, or save you in spite of yourself; because in the final analysis, it is your life that is at stake. And if you are to gain the merit of your choice, it has to be a free conscious choice. At these moments, what is crucial is that “small inner voice” that guides you – the voice of God’s Spirit. Once you learn to recognize the voice of the Spirit and truly listen to all he says to you, you will have no fear in your life, nor will you find it difficult to obey him.

Go over a few instances in which you found yourself tempted and see if you can identify that precise moment where you see yourself at the crossroads: you could choose to go either way. At that split second, remember, you have the freedom to choose. If at that juncture you can ‘press the STOP button,’ as it were; that is, don’t plunge into a decision, but stop and check to see which alternatives you have before you. Think these out calmly and list them out carefully. Then, using your Conscience or right judgment, choose the best option that suits this particular occasion. Since you give yourself more time to make the decision the chances are that you will make a more rational and hence correct decision. In the beginning this approach might appear to be complicated and difficult because of the various steps that are to be followed, but once you have tried it out a few times, you will find it very helpful in handling difficult situations.

Pause in deep inner silence and stillness and just visualize one (or more) such situation/s and determine how you could act for your own good. Then place this decision before the Father and ask for his special guidance and help in such situations. Finally, place all your reflections in My loving heart and you can then leave it to Me to work things out for your good… always presuming that you will remain true to this decision in the heat of the temptation. Spend as much time you need doing this and then as you move out of prayer, intercede for a while for the needs of others. Conclude with a short bhajan or vocal prayer.

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Jesus: Once more we meet for our weekly prayer. We enter into this prayer in the usual way with a period of intense silence and stillness. Even if you were to spend the entire hour in such silence, it would be very good prayer, as long as you keep your focus on the Father. But a solid period of silence at the start will make all the difference to the rest of the hour. Don’t omit also a brief review of last week’s effort to live out what you received in prayer.

[Time for silent reflection and prayer]

Jesus: Read the entire Gospel passage for this week and then return to the start, going over the text line by line, pausing at whatever strikes you or offers material for a dialogue with Me. Notice that I advise you: ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled – trust in the Father and trust in Me.’ I have bought you, as it were, at a very high price, at the cost of My very life and so I will not abandon you just for nothing, even if and when you yourself choose to go away from Me. You are precious to Me. It was the Father who sent Me in order to invite you back into his kingdom of love and peace. Once you realize that you mean a lot to us, the three Persons of the Trinity, you cannot allow yourself to be troubled by the tiny little problems that are part of your life. In fact, it is important that there be problems and crosses that crop up in your life, from time to time. These enable you to check how deep your faith in Me really is. Remember that faith is not so much a matter of words as of action, effective and decisive action especially in the face of apparent failure.

Again, it is not so much a question of what you do, as of what you allow the Father to do in you. Once you effectively give total charge of your life to him, he arranges everything for your good. Remember what Paul says in Romans 8:28-30 – “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.” When you place yourself trustingly in the loving hands of the Father and obey him perfectly, there is nothing he cannot and will not do for you, his beloved.

That is the reason why I say in the sentence above: ‘Do not LET your hearts be troubled.’ You could, of course, allow that to happen; but if you choose to remain trustful, you will see the immense power of God work for good in everything and everyone around you. Remain in silence and visualize your current difficulties, especially that situation in which you see yourself as in an impasse, at a dead end – whichever side you turn there are huge obstacles. Place that situation as it is in the hands of God and express your sincere and total surrender to him. Ask him insistently to take charge of the situation; seek his light and guidance to discover how you place obstacles in his path (maybe unconsciously but nonetheless effectively). These could come from your inborn prejudices, past negative experiences and the like. Let-go of these one by one into God’s loving hands as soon as you discover them, and you will experience a deep peace and quiet. Recall the incident narrated in the Gospel when I calmed the stormy seas with just a word (‘He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?”’ - Mk 4:39-40).

Do this work now in silence and stillness and remain in this calm for as long as you can. Towards the end of your prayer intercede on behalf of others especially that they too may experience the peace that only the Risen Lord can grant.

It would also help to recall a situation in which, for some reason or other, you did not surrender your problems into the Father’s hands, but tried to solve it yourself. What was the result then? Even if you eventually did succeed look at the pain and struggle you had to go through. Whereas when you let God do it for you, you get everything on a platter! The only difference is that you might have to wait for ‘God’s hour – kairos’ – to strike, and also recall that things might not work out your way, at every step of the process. But the result is what matters and that God will surely work out for you. Faith and patience is what it takes to experience God’s loving protection and providence.

Visualize also how you are going to exercise this truth during the rest of the week. After a fairly long period of deep silence and stillness, conclude your hour of prayer with the usual brief bhajan or vocal prayer summing up your prayer experience of the day.

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Jesus: Once again we meet for this weekly prayer and we remind ourselves that we want to make the best use of this hour we spend together. Silence your mind and heart as you purposefully maintain a deep inner stillness; calmly yet firmly put aside all extraneous thoughts and feelings so that you can concentrate on My message to you… Once you have done this, recount briefly how you spent the past week. Is there something you need to learn from your experiences... something you could have done better and with less effort? How strong was your faith in times of difficulty during this week?

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: This week’s reading from St. John’s gospel is also is a very rich passage. Having gone through it slowly and prayerfully, return to the opening sentences. ‘If you love Me you will keep my commandments.’ It is said that love either finds equals or makes equal! Once you really and deeply love Me, you will find yourself wanting to imitate Me, or better, join Me, in everything, especially in My relationship with the Father. He has chosen you to be a ‘son in the Son’ and so you will find yourself imbibing all the filial qualities you discover in Me. But that will happen only when you genuinely and selflessly love Me. If there are traces of self-centredness in your approach, even if they be around spiritual matters like experiencing the Father’s love and peace, this will be difficult. Loving means simply means placing Me and the Father’s will above everything else. If there a choice between Me and some other person or thing, obviously I would need to come first, no matter what!

How would you know when self begins to creep into your actions? Most often, a person goes by his/her intentions and generally these are very good and apparently selfless. In fact, last week’s prayer would have helped you gain some insight in this matter. When you are truly selfless in your approach, there will hardly be any anxiety, worry and the like in your dealings and especially in your prayer. Even in the face of your evident failings, you will be able to maintain an inner calm born out of a deep assurance of the Father’s love. “If God is for us, who can be against us…?” (Rom. 8:31-32). Pause for a while to see if there are any evident traces of self (fear, anxiety, worry, doubt and so on) in your life! Don’t be too anxious and eager to discover some nor afraid and ashamed if you really unearth a few nasty ones. If these signs are present in your life, they will automatically stand out a mile. Because God is a God of peace and in his presence, such anxieties do not persist easily. Look at the situation dispassionately and bring the problematic areas to Me as they are, with faith and love.

Further, how would you positively know that you love Me? As I have indicated at the start in the sentence chosen, the quality and depth of your obedience will be one indicator. If you pick and choose the situations in which you will be obedient, that would not express true love. Love gives totally and unconditionally. Again, true love casts out all fear, especially fear of the unknown and of the future. So, when you love the Father sincerely, you are not in the least afraid to let him have full sway in your affairs. There are no areas cordoned off from his powerfully loving and healing gaze. You certainly will have weaknesses and failures, but you will not feel shy to bring them lovingly and trustingly to the Father who will himself heal you and rid you of these. He will show you the way to total inner peace and happiness.

Further, the Father assures you of the gift of the Spirit, the Advocate, who will abide with you forever, which means, in practice, until you consciously decide to expel him through your consciously chosen self-centredness. He is the Spirit that leads you to the truth that will set you free of all inhibitions and obstacles to the fullness of life. The most basic of these truths is that God in his loving kindness has accepted you as his beloved child, in whom he is well-pleased. This does not mean that God does not see your shortcomings. What it says, however, is that these shortcomings and even backslidings of yours do not stop him from accepting you as his beloved child. What is important, therefore, is that you become more deeply aware of this status of sonship and live according to it. A son, the Father reminds us, is free to move anywhere in the Father’s home – the slave does not enjoy such freedom!

Pause in silence and stillness to review how much you really enjoy this status of son/child of God which the Father offers you so freely and generously. Maybe you could take a very concrete situation: how much freedom do you experience in your time of prayer? Do you still have to fall back on reciting prayers composed by someone else, rather than speaking to God from your heart? Do you feel you have to censor your words and expressions when praying, or can you speak unrestrainedly? Even when aware of your sins, do you feel free enough to come into the Father’s presence and accept your fault, take responsibility for them? Or do you find yourself giving excuses, blaming someone else or circumstances for your faults? Do you find yourself correcting your past mistakes out of a sense of love and gratitude? Or out of fear of punishment or rejection? Do you consciously take a lackadaisical attitude towards these failings? Allow the Spirit to lead you in this search and pour out your heart freely to the Father …

At some point you will need to call a halt to all these reflections and remain in total silence and stillness for as long as you can … During this silence, listen deeply to the Spirit, the Advocate, leading you to the truth of your present situation. Don’t be in a hurry to respond – begin by listening totally – you can always respond later, even after the prayer has been terminated. But the chance to listen will not be given to you always. After you have listened sufficiently and responded adequately, turn to intercessions for others and then conclude your prayer with a short hymn or vocal prayer of thanksgiving.

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Jesus: Once more we begin our prayer-hour this day with a period of silence and stillness in which you remain as quiet as you possibly can, driving out of your mind and heart all that disturbs you at the moment. Actually, the better thing would be to entrust all these preoccupations to Me for safe-keeping till your prayer is over. Once you have quieted your mind and done your prayer well, you may well find that these problems have disappeared by themselves. You can tell Me something about the past week, particularly what you would like to see improved in the coming week.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: The Gospel for this Sunday is very short, yet very important. It describes for us the commissioning of the apostles to take over from Me in the work of evangelizing the whole world. We notice first of all that some of the apostles still hesitated and doubted – that is not because they were duds or malicious people, but simply because the truth of the Resurrection is so difficult to grasp in all its implications. They would however, learn about the various facets of this truth and gradually come to not only acknowledge it but also to live out its implications. The second generation Christians would find it a lot easier to follow in their steps and the next, even more, if they have learnt to capitalize on the faith experience of the previous generation.

I also reminded My disciples that all authority had been given to Me by My Father. But it is helpful to recall that this dignity and position did not become Mine until I had first gone through the Paschal Mystery of suffering and death which the loving Father had ordained for Me. There was a total self-emptying on My part and so the Father filled Me with his power and might to the fullest. Having ascended to the Father’s right hand (meaning, once I had a full share in the life and power of the Father) I could send My disciples out in My name… with a share in the same mission of making the Father’s name be glorified and his kingdom to come in the midst of all peoples: “All authority is mine in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore …” (Mt. 28:19-20).

Notice further that I send My disciples to all nations, and not just to a few chosen ones. They are to go not only to the more receptive and congenial peoples, but to all, even to those who have a well-established religious system and follow it wholeheartedly and hence would not easily change to something different. What I have to offer to all peoples is the fullness of life and love and that is what ultimately every human being is really looking for. However, it is not a mere religious system that I offer. My gift is the fullness of life – such that “no eye has seen and no ear has heard” – and so it is important that this new, full life be demonstrated for people to see from their own experience. They must see how it operates in the lives of ordinary people and also note the real difference it makes in their daily activity. That is why I ask My disciples to teach them all that I had shared with them, especially to observe the one commandment of love that I gave them. When they see love in action, all their fears and doubts will vanish.

That is, in fact, what the early Christians did. You will recall how, seeing the lives of these early Christians, their friends and neighbours would exclaim: ‘See how these Christians love one another!’ Their behaviour was truly unheard-of and never witnessed before – that they could truly forgive one another and accept the sinner as a real brother/sister. Recall the story of Philemon who at the urging of Paul accepts Onesimus a run-away slave. Such run-away slaves, when found, would be normally punished by death. But Philemon was able to forgive Onesimus and accept him as a member of his own household, no longer as a slave! Just imagine the two, master and former slave, both sitting at the same table, sharing a meal! Another outstanding characteristic of the early Christians was the way they shared all their material goods and placed them at the service of the poor and needy (See Acts 4:32-35). Further, even simple ordinary people set out as missionaries: think of Priscilla and Aquila who were an unpretentious Christian family yet did a tremendous amount of missionary work, sharing their faith with anyone who was prepared to listen to them. They even collaborated with the great missionary, Paul.

The important point you need to keep in mind as you make this prayer is that today I live and work in and through the lives of ordinary Christians. Every Christian, even you, has been given a special role to play in making My message known and accepted everywhere. Are you aware of what is your precise role? Stop and listen as you maintain a deep inner silence and stillness – try not to leave until you have discovered what it is that I have allotted to you concretely – in the ordinary circumstances of your actual life today. Respond to this call given to you in the way you think you should. Visualize concretely and in some detail, one of two of these responses and offer them up to the Father. Pray for a fresh outpouring of his Spirit to energize you for such situations.

When you come to the end of your prayer, add a few intercessions for the needy people around you and conclude with the usual brief hymn or vocal prayer.

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Jesus: We come now to the last Sunday of the special Easter season and it will remind you of a very important responsibility you have - of being a bearer of the light. Hence, prepare yourself by entering into a period of deep silence and stillness. While this is important every time you come to pray, it is especially valuable today as we recall the empowering of the entire Church to carry out its mission to the whole world. When you have silenced the different voices that have been demanding your attention as you start this prayer, give Me a brief account of how you lived the message you picked up last week in your prayer …

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: Once again, read through the entire Gospel passage and then go over it again more carefully and prayerfully. What strikes one immediately is that it was ‘the first day of the week.’ This is the day of the Resurrection, of the new creation brought about by My dying-rising. As the Book of Revelation puts it: ‘Behold I make all things new’ … the old has passed and every person is a new creation! It would be worth pausing here and reviewing just how much of this newness you can actually see in yourself? Have the Lenten and Easter seasons brought about a change in your life-style? Do you find yourself less critical and fault-finding of others? Are you more ready and generous in helping others in need? Is there a visible reduction in the “I-Ego” in your daily conversations and dealings with others? Has life in the family become more loving and tangibly happy, tension-free? Do you find yourself more conscientious at your work-place? Do you find yourself less disturbed within yourself and less disturbing of others? Above all, is there less fear (at all levels) in your life – especially when witnessing to My power and presence? Do you experience a deeper peace within yourself? Are others at peace in your presence? How often do you find yourself truly joyful and that too for a fairly long period?

If your answers to these and similar questions are largely positive, then you can be sure that you are ready to be sent out to proclaim the Good News of My resurrection. You can go out and just be yourself wherever you are, and you will be effectively proclaiming the news of the new life I bring to people of good-will. You don’t have to do anything special or extraordinary – your very life should proclaim the Good News. Nevertheless, you will make mistakes; you too have your in-built short-comings – all this is true. Yet, when you place yourself fearlessly and unreservedly in the hands of the Father, he will transform even these limitations of yours into effective means of procuring his true glory. Your very humility and readiness to accept your failings will say something to people who normally find it difficult to accept limitations in themselves.

Perhaps another result you will notice in yourself is that your own understanding and grasp of the Easter mystery (dying and rising) will grow by leaps and bounds. You will notice various applications of this dynamic in almost everything you undertake. And further, as you surrender yourself into the Father’s hands more and more deeply, your joy too will increase in geometric proportions (1-2-4-16-256…). You will then become a source of inspiration and joy to those you live with. But you will have to be aware of the need to remain ever close to Me, as the temptation will always be to attribute all these changes to your own efforts. They are rather the transforming effects of My risen presence in your life. Seek to deepen the flow of this power through your selfless efforts – and you will allow the Father to work marvels through you.

Remain in total silence and stillness for a fairly long time so that these reflections can truly sink deep into your consciousness and further transform you. As you emerge from this stillness, reach out to others through simple petitions for their needs. Conclude with a brief prayer or hymn.

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Jesus: Today we meet again for our weekly appointment and to make it as fruitful as possible, begin with the usual time of inner silence and peace. Watch particularly the feelings that tend to disturb you or draw your attention in some other direction. Attend to these first so that your mind can concentrate freely on all that I have to share with you. Include also a brief report of your particular difficulties of the past week. One can learn a lot from reviewing these problems – if one cares to.

[Time for prayer and silent reflection]

Jesus: As you usually do, read through the passage first, slowly and prayerfully, and then re-visit the first lines in which St. John reminds us of the Father’s tremendous love. Reflect right at the start that while God loves the ‘world’ which includes every single person and creature in it, his love is very personal as it reaches each individual. For God it is no problem to love every single item of his wonderful creation even when there are millions of them claiming his attention, as it were. Pause for a while and feel yourself being loved very specially and personally by the Father. See yourself safe and snug in his loving embrace. Among other things, this means that God attends to every single detail of your life, providing you with all that you need for your well-being and happiness. Are there are any areas in your life in which you do not yet experience that full happiness? If there are any, this is not because God has failed to provide for you – it could be that in some way you do not receive and appropriate all that God has in store for you. Possibly the block is some form of ‘ego’ which is not difficult to discover. Remain in silence and beseech the Lord to point out any such obstacles.

God’s love is not just a matter of nice words – his love moves him to act. And his action is generally one of ‘outpouring’ his love more and more abundantly, especially when one is receptive – he empties himself of all that he is, for God is love. And when God gives he does not measure out or parcel out his love. Being simple, God gives all – there are no parts or divisions in his inner nature. Just as he pours out his love on to the Son and the Son reflects it back to the Father with full knowledge and love, (which is the person of the Holy Spirit), so he pours out all his love onto you (and the world). How wonderful it would be if we too, like the Son, could receive that love of the Father, appropriate it and then reflect it back to him in all that we are and do! Our communion with the Blessed Trinity then would be perfect and what a marvelous and fulfilling life would we not have?

Where in our lives then, do we move differently from this pattern that we discover within the Trinity among the three Divine Persons? Perhaps the first step we need to take to follow their pattern is to acknowledge as the Son does, that all that I have and all that I am is the Father’s gracious and unmerited gift. Far from making us dependent on the Father in a servile manner, we become, as it were, extensions of his love – capable of sharing that same love with everyone who comes into the circle of our lives. And God’s love is such that the more it is shared, the more fruitful and productive it becomes. But when we try to hoard it for ourselves, it somehow withers and dies out. We have a faint glimpse of this in the lesson Yahweh taught the wandering Israelites in the desert. He commanded them to gather as much manna as they needed for each day – not providing for the morrow, except on the eve of the Sabbath. If they gathered more than their daily requirement, it rotted and became unfit for everyone. Thus, not only the one who gathered the extra, but also everyone else, missed out on that portion. And God blessed them with this manna abundantly – enough for everyone, provided there were no hoarders and misers among them.

In our insecurity we are often tempted to gather more than we need. Somehow our eyes are always bigger than our stomachs and when we give in to this temptation we bring hardship and misery on ourselves first but also on everyone around. There is also another side to this problem. Some people want God’s love without the hassle of ‘gathering it in.’ These persons then try to grab what others have painstakingly harvested. Again this attitude leads to a lot of disturbance and trouble for everyone around. And that seems to be our situation in the world today. Review your own life and see whether there are any such blocks (or maybe other similar obstacles) that make you the cause of unhappiness to those around you.

What you need to look at is not so much particular actions in which you have been self-centred, but rather the attitude of selfishness which lurks deep down in the heart of everyone. If you discover traces of this, bring them to Me so that I can eradicate them from the very roots. One infallible remedy is to reflect on the lavishness with which God the Father loves you. When he offers you so much and that too unfailingly, why would you need to grab and hoard for the proverbial ‘rainy day’? While in prayer itself, visualize yourself sharing some of your blessings with those around you who are in need. Pick out particularly things/gifts/talents that you have in plenty and which perhaps you yourself don’t use enough because you don’t really need them. Could you make a beginning by parting with some of these? However, the approach must not be one of just dumping these on to others – but rather of sharing them lovingly with those in need. Again, it is this inner attitude that makes all the difference. Exercise this as you remain in deep inner silence and stillness for as long as you can.

Remain in this silence and stillness allowing God’s Spirit free rein to move and act as he wills. He can work wonders in a person who remains still and cooperative in his powerful hands. As you emerge from this silence, spend a few minutes in heartfelt intercession for others and finally conclude with a short bhajan or vocal prayer.

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Jesus: This week we have the feast of the Eucharist itself which offers you an opportunity to delve more deeply into its meaning and importance in your life as a Christian. In order to profit more, begin with a serious effort to quieten your mind and heart – once this is beginning to happen within you, share with Me some of the difficulties you experienced in trying to live out the message I gave you last week.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: As usual, go through the entire Gospel passage for the day and then once again more slowly and prayerfully re-read the first few sentences. It is obvious that when I speak of Myself as the living bread, I am using these words to create a picture in your mind, to evoke a deep personal experience in your consciousness. Bread stands for all the food people consume - which nourishes human bodies providing them with all the nutrients they need to grow. The purpose of eating nutritious food is that we grow, and not just to tickle our palates or fill our stomachs. If physical growth does not take place in spite of our having nourishing food in right proportions, then we would need to question either the kind of food we eat or the quantity or its suitability for our particular physical constitution. Similarly, the core purpose of My entering into the very fabric of your lives is that you may experience growth into the fullness of life that the Father offers you. If this does not happen, one would need to investigate into the reasons or the blocks that prevent it from happening.

Again, I insisted that the bread I offer is my ‘flesh’ – not in the sense of physical meat, but of my very human person/personality and divine sonship. And so the growth that I expect to occur in your life will come out of human interactions both with Me personally/spiritually and also through the members of My mystical body. It is in interacting with others that you will discover what goes wrong in your life. That offers you enough opportunities to return to Me and sort out these difficulties, so that you can go back and respond the next time in a more Christ-like manner. You have been called to be and live as a child of God and so your responses should reflect the goodness and love of the Father to everyone around you. As you look back on your human experience you will notice that some of the factors that prevent you from showing forth the nature of the Father within you are: fear (basically, a fear of losing something that you consider as precious or important), insecurity (because you feel that you lack something essential), greed (the inordinate desire to have more and more), lack of respect and consideration for others (we fail to see others too as God’s beloved children) – in short, you have a low ‘emotional quotient’ or insufficient emotional maturity.

Another way of putting it would be: you seem to focus chiefly on yourself and not sufficiently on Me. Once you begin to appreciate better My generosity, care and concern, My tremendous desire to have you enriched in every way, My creativity in finding new and better way to empower you – once this becomes a reality in the very marrow of your bones, as it were, then you will experience less obstacles and difficulties in loving others as I love you. To ‘eat my body and drink my blood’ means among other things that you develop a very close and intimate relationship, a living bond with Me. I wish to be the very life of your life, to transform you from within so that you too spontaneously and in every situation reflect the Father’s love and compassion.

A person’s faults and failings do not disturb the Father or make him love that person less. While he certainly would want that person to be without those faults, yet he is very patient and will wait till that person does something to change that situation. In the meantime, his love and compassion for the person remain exactly the same as before. The Father never moves away from us (actually he cannot, because God is everywhere and nothing is hidden or distant from him). It is we who shield ourselves with thick layers of darkness, selfishness and ungodliness and thus hide ourselves from him. Even so, the light of his goodness and love will continue to penetrate this thick cloud we have created, inviting us to return.

Each time we freely and joyously come to Eucharist, we will find our resistance to God becoming less and less, especially if we make a genuine effort to truly listen to his Word. No one can truly resist his voice and message because every word of his calls us into being at deeper and deeper levels. We can, of course, close our ears to his words, or even mis-interpret them to suit our convenience. But the Father will always continue to call us out of darkness into his own wonderful light. The secret then seems to be to ‘eat… and drink…of Me’ but meaningfully, not just in a ritual fashion. Association with Me inevitably will spark off new and higher levels of life in you. You will notice yourself wanting to do better, to respond more wholeheartedly each time you genuinely encounter Me in the Eucharist. Seek therefore to make your Eucharistic celebrations as personal and meaningful as possible.

Pause in silence and review your habitual way of celebrating Eucharist. Do you usually come away from the Eucharist enthused with at least one insight into God’s tremendous love for you? Do you discover better ways of responding gratefully to the Father’s love – small but significant gestures of genuine gratitude, extending also to other people around you? How strenuous are your efforts to build a genuine and personal relationship with Me? How much have you learnt to discover Me within ‘the cave of your heart’? Or do you still look for Me outside of yourself, in the Tabernacle or in special places like shrines and so on. In what way can you say that you ‘draw life’ from Me? Am I the One you consult first when in any kind of doubt or difficulty?

Spend some time in deep silence and stillness, listening attentively to My voice and to the Spirit who abides in you. Remain still for as long as you can, not consciously thinking any particular thought or uttering any particular words. Allow God’s Spirit to work on you in that silence. When you draw near the end of your prayer, move into intercessions for the needs of others. Conclude with the usual short hymn or vocal prayer.

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Jesus: Once more we meet for this weekly appointment of ours – a very precious time indeed and one which I eagerly look forward to. So that we may make the best use of the time at our disposal, I want the whole of your attention. That is why I recommend that you spend a few moments at the start getting rid of all distractions that could come in the way. After you are relatively quiet and calm, tell Me about how you lived the message I gave you last week … maybe you could learn something more about how you are to live your discipleship in the present context and situation of your life.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: As you have been doing over the past months, first read through the entire Gospel story; then re-visit it more leisurely. The first injunction is: ‘It is not those who say, Lord, Lord …’ Notice, first of all that a person calls on another’s name twice primarily in order to gain his full attention – because, it seems obvious, that he wishes to communicate something important and urgent. However, this is not the intention with which My followers always call on Me in this manner. In fact, that is not what My injunction refers to. Rather, it speaks of a situation in which persons call out to Me, ingratiatingly requesting Me to listen to their pleas and groans – but when I do speak, giving them the most appropriate and effective advice, first of all they do not even listen correctly nor do they later carry out what I tell them to do. They are focused only on what their needs dictate to them! Besides being a waste of time for Me, this approach can also prove disastrous for the petitioner, because then he does not carry out My suggestions and hence stands to lose everything, especially his entry into the Kingdom. That is why I insist that doing God’s will is far more important than merely calling out for his help.

You will understand the importance of My suggestion that people listen carefully because as Isaiah says so forcefully: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Is 55:8-9). So, as it is normally difficult to understand My ways and patterns of thought, how much more difficult would it not be then if you do not listen carefully? The deeper point, of course, is that the persons who engage in this kind of prayer, do not really care about being in the kingdom and benefiting from My offer of love to them. All they are satisfied with is fulfilling the ritual – their hearts are really far from Me and My ways. But these kinds of empty rituals are distasteful to Me.

Long ago, through Isaiah God had said to the people: “What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices? says the LORD; I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats. When you appear before me, who asked this from your hand? Trample my courts no more; bringing offerings is futile; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and sabbath and calling of convocation - I cannot endure solemn assemblies with iniquity. Your new moons and your appointed festivals my soul hates; they have become a burden to me, I am weary of bearing them. When you stretch out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow” (Is 1:11-17).

So, today too, I prefer that you say little but say it from the heart; mean all that you say – because I am not One who is flattered by human speech. Did I not warn My disciples: “When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask” (Mt 6:7-8)! And so, this is the crux of all prayer and rituals – that they truly express what is in one’s heart. “I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” Besides, it is not for My benefit that I invite you into covenant with Me. It is simply that I may shower all My choicest blessings on you. So, the focus must be on how open you are to receive all that I have in store for you.

The way that most people adopt is typically pagan whereby the Deity is ‘placated’ or ‘mollified’ by high-sounding phrases. In fact, in some approaches there is a whole science built up around which phrases and words to use and how many times, when it is a question of obtaining a favour from God. That kind of approach, in fact, makes Me into a ‘Deus ex machina” – a mechanical god, who cannot but dance according to the whims and fancies of his people. Such a god is totally under the thumb of the one who knows how to pull the right stops. Rather, I am the sovereign Lord and will give My glory to no one.

In this reflection, what is important is that you see clearly how often and in which circumstances you tend to behave as the pagans do, heaping up meaningless phrases in prayer. As a matter of fact, this kind of mere verbal prayer is quite frequent among Catholics. For one thing, they seem to favour recited prayers (like the Our Father, the Rosary, novenas and so on) to prayer made spontaneously, from the heart. Secondly, they can spend hours asking for some favour, but yet not lift a finger to do what is required to make it a reality. Thus, for example, when people pray for peace in the home, neighbourhood or wherever, they seem to expect Me to rain down peace on them from heaven without them doing anything to bring about that peace. Peace cannot come among people who deliberately choose not to live in peace with others.

Remain in silence examining your attitudes in prayer – to discover if you have any traces of this kind of superficial prayer. Be demanding of yourself as you are the first one, though not the only one, who will benefit from being honest. Visualize yourself saying very little in prayer but meaning every word you utter – carrying out later in actual life, what you said you would in prayer. Notice how this may be very demanding in that you would need to be vigilant to fulfill your part of the deal, but it does produce very definite results and in the bargain makes you feel good too. Picture yourself doing this in every situation. After you have dialogued sufficiently with the Father, turn towards your needy brethren and intercede for them. Maybe in this prayer you could remember all those you know who indulge in superficial prayer – in your own family, among your neighbours and friends… At the end, conclude your prayer with a short bhajan or hymn.

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Jesus: We enter into another hour of prayer this week and without a doubt, we would want this prayer to be as effective and fruitful as possible. Hence, begin with a few minutes of purposeful silence and stillness. Consciously eliminate from your mind and heart whatever tends to focus on the self, especially the emotional hurts you might have received during this week. Entrust them into My loving hands and place yourself totally at My disposal. Don’t omit a brief resume of the past week’s efforts to live out what you gained in your prayer.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: As you usually do, go through the entire passage set out for this week. There is one thing that you will notice in all the vocation narratives. It is while I am on the move that I see the kind of person I am looking for. That might seem coincidental to you, but it brings out at least one important truth: when carrying out My mission of welcoming people into God’s kingdom, I do not wait for them to come to Me. I have a fairly clear idea of what God’s kingdom entails and so I take the initiative and go in search of the kind of person that will fit in with those requirements. One consequence of this is: When I choose a particular person, s/he should be able to take it for granted that, in spite of the apparent failings and shortcomings s/he might think s/he has, there is something in that person that I have spotted which is just right for an apostle or ambassador of the kingdom. God does not make a mistake in his choice!

In our post-Vatican II times, we have come to accept that everyone who is baptized has been chosen by God for some mission or other in the kingdom. Even married, lay faithful, have a mission to fulfill in their own sphere of work and life. It is important, therefore, that you believe in yourself and accept that you have at least the bare minimum of qualities needed to fulfill your mission successfully.

Look over your own life experiences and check for yourself whether you have accepted this truth about yourself. I am sure that if you really did accept yourself, you would find yourself a lot more enthusiastically involved in spreading the Good News. This doesn’t, of course, mean that you would be talking about God the whole time. It simply means that you fulfill your duties in the situation in which you find yourself joyfully and wholeheartedly – this itself is enough to draw the attention of others. Besides, if the love which motivates you stands out a mile, because it is something habitual in you, then even more will be the impact that your life makes on others. Spend some time in deep silence trying to appreciate your God-given talents and abilities. Check to see how much your use the opportunities presented to you to spread God’s kingdom of love and once again place these talents at the disposal of God’s Spirit that his kingdom may come more effectively through your life and activities.

Another point worth considering is the kind of response the first disciples gave. The text says: ‘And he got up and began following him.’ While this might not have happened literally in that Levi would have abruptly broken off all ties with family, friends and occupation and begun his following of Me, yet it does bring out the fact that their self-giving was instantaneous and total. The practical details might have taken some time to work out – but there was no going back on their initial decision to follow Me totally. It is this generosity that stands out in the lives of all the first disciples. There was something simple and child-like in their trust and devotion. Today, perhaps, people tend to be a lot of cautious and calculating, especially in terms of ‘what is there in this for me’! Yet, ultimately, it is only those who give with a certain reckless abandon who will really do great things for the kingdom.

Review your own first few months of conscious Christian following – if you can remember My call to you! Relish the enthusiasm that even you can see in those first few days or months. Re-live the thrill of that following and see how you could recapture something of that enthusiasm and joy even today. Your following today will be a lot deeper and solid than it was then, yet it should never be slowed down by considerations of personal gain or self-seeking. In fact, the measure of your generosity should keep steadily increasing year by year and also in proportion to your personal experience of My love for you.

Ponder over these thoughts for a while and then move into total silence and stillness – remain in deep silence for as long as you can and as you draw near the end of this hour of prayer, spend a few moments consciously praying for people in need, particularly among your friends and acquaintances. There would be some who, you feel, could be doing a lot more for God’s kingdom – ask the Father to shower his special blessings on them that they might be encouraged to give more generously of themselves. Conclude your prayer with a short hymn or vocal prayer.

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Jesus: We begin yet another hour of prayer with the hope that it will bring us into a deeper union of mind and heart. For this, it would be of paramount importance to put aside everything that would distract you and thus lessen the intensity of our intimacy. Strive therefore in the first few minutes to quieten your mind and heart by maintaining a deep inner silence and stillness. Before you move into the prayer proper, spend a minute or two reviewing the last week’s effort to infuse a greater generosity into your following of Me.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: Begin by carefully reading the entire Gospel passage, paying attention to every single word. Then, review the text stopping at any word or phrase that attracts your attention and invites dialogue with Me. As an example, take this phrase: ‘On seeing the crowds, Jesus felt compassion for them.’ They were simple people, who perhaps couldn’t see beyond their noses, yet they were sincere and genuine in their hunger and thirst for God; and what is worse, those appointed to lead them to God were hardly fulfilling their task. And so, these people went helter-skelter eagerly looking for someone who would finally bring them to God. It is people such as these that the Father longs to bring into his kingdom, for they might not be very learned, but their hearts are in the right place. In their simplicity, they follow God’s word trustingly without putting too many obstacles. Such people need correct guidance else they can be easily led astray. Qualities such as these drew Me to them and I wanted My disciples also to feel for such people and do their best to bring them effectively and fruitfully into God’s kingdom. I spent the rest of the day teaching them many things, even though I had invited My disciples to spend some quiet time with Me in a deserted place.

Recall some of the simple people around you – contrast them with the learned and wise who go after all modern philosophies but ultimately are miserly in their response to God. Their man-made theories can lead them onto paths that will ultimately end in self-delusion. And the sad part of it all is that by that time, their attitudes (heart) could get so hardened that it would be very difficult to bring them back on course. Look into your own heart and life to see if such a thing has been happening. See how generous and spontaneous you are in giving of yourself to the poor and needy around you.

And when it grew late, My disciples came and suggested that we send the people away to fend for themselves as regards the evening meal. Imagine Me doing that after showing them God’s compassion the whole day long! So I told the disciples that they themselves should give the people something to eat. But, of course, they had practically nothing with them – they had not anticipated that we would be in that lonely place for so long. Yet, My compassionate heart is creative enough to come up with a viable solution – with the five loaves and two fish I was able to feed every one in that hungry multitude, with a lot left over too! Recall instances when you too have experienced the force of My compassion for you – giving you things you never even dreamt of. What then should be your response to My love? Do you also come at this response with creativity and generosity? Or is your response stereotyped and routine?

Part of the response of the people was to care also for their neighbours who might not have had enough. At such a gathering, generosity towards the needy comes almost automatically – the very atmosphere and surroundings create that kind of generosity in the hearts of even the most self-centred persons. And so, it is good that you associate with people who have a large heart and have a long-standing tradition and reputation for being generous with their time, energy, money – in fact, with their very lives. In silence and stillness, admire their generosity and pray for an outpouring of such love for yourself and those near and dear to you.

At the appropriate moment, move into deeper silence and emptiness and remain in it for as long as you can. Allow My Spirit to act on your inner being and fashion you according to God’s image and likeness. As you emerge out of this silence, make a few petitions for people you know who are in need of God’s mercy, sustenance and so on. Conclude with the usual brief prayer or hymn.

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Jesus: We begin again this evening with the usual period of silence and stillness in which you quieten your mind, preparing yourself interiorly for this intimate time with Me. Pay special attention to your feelings, particularly those that disturb you. Generally, these keep nagging at you demanding your attention the whole time. And if your attention is divided, then the effectiveness of this prayer would be minimized. After some time of silence, review the last week with Me, pin-pointing at least one area in which you could respond better in the coming week.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: As a preliminary, read through the entire Gospel passage for this Sunday and then return to it more slowly and reflectively. You will notice that it deals largely with the fears most people have. Fear is a tremendous deterrent in a person’s life – it can paralyze you especially when you need to take decisive action either regarding yourself or someone else. There are several aspects to this fear: it can be regarding the unknown, the future, the Father’s dealings with you… it could arise regarding someone significant rejecting you, or could even be mixed up with guilt. The important thing is that the objective of My mission to people is precisely to rid them of fear and make them into courageous witnesses of God’s love and concern.

The first thing you would need to do, therefore, is to deepen your conviction with regard to the Father’s love. His love is totally unconditional – which is difficult to understand because the only other examples of love human beings experience are always conditional in some way or other. To take one example: human beings forgive others who have hurt them – but their forgiveness, even when genuine, is inevitably limited, conditioned and hence needs to be repeated often – with every fault the other commits. But that is not the way God forgive us: his forgiveness is without any conditions and limits and so can be given only once. Having been given to us ‘once and for all’ in Christ Jesus it endures for ever – each new failing of yours simply gets dried or burnt up, as it were, in that enduring blaze of God’s loving mercy. God’s mercy is something like the sun that, once created, shines or burns endlessly. The water spilt on your table today is evaporated in the sun’s scorching heat. If tomorrow you again spill some more water, there is no need of another sun to arise and dry it up – the existing sun itself will do the needful. All you need to do is to allow the sun’s rays to reach that spot that is wet.

Once you are convinced of this unbelievable quality of God’s love, especially at the feeling level, you will notice that several aspects of your fear will automatically disappear. No one can deny that we humans are frail and limited in a thousand different ways. But if God’s love is assured, no matter what, then you can return to him with confidence and carry on your life, making a more concerted effort to respond better the next time. You don’t need to repeatedly remember the past sin (except to learn from it) because God himself does not remember your sins. In Isaiah Yahweh tells his people: ‘Behold I cast your sins behind my back!’ (Isa. 38:17).

Fearlessness can make you more creative and resourceful in your ways of reaching out to others. It makes you less touchy when they disappoint or hurt you by ingratitude or whatever. It enables you to live in the present moment and avail yourself of all the energy of God’s love placed at your disposal – and this is available only in the ‘now.’ All the energy that most people lose in regretting the past or anticipating the future is now available to the one who believes in God’s perennial love and makes a good use of it.

The Father is the only One who reads your heart and understands your intentions even when the action following falls far short of your good intentions. He certainly would like to see the full flowering of your good intentions in every action of yours, but doesn’t get disappointed or angry with you when you fail. That is why I advise you not to worry about how other people judge you or assess your actions. The key point would be to be sincere before the Father and bare your inner self to him with love and confidence. This is tremendously important, because when you are not in touch with the reality concerning yourself, you are the one who harms yourself the most. Recall the situation of the Pharisees – they studied and hence knew all the demands of the Law which should have brought them very close to Yahweh. Yet, their vested interests somehow blinded them to the Truth of this love, and not even all the warnings I gave them so lovingly yet sternly, could shake them out of that darkness. This then is the one thing you need to fear: that you will at times choose not to be sincere with yourself, with others and with God. Nevertheless, the remedy for this is also a deep assurance of the Father’s unconditional love of you – exactly as you are, warts and all!

Plunge into deep silence and be still trying to savour this love of the Father – don’t think too much about it; just try and feel it – bask in the sunshine of this love and allow it to permeate every pore of your skin, as it were. When you have drunk deeply of this transforming love of the Father, speak to him of the needs of some of your brethren who perhaps do not have the privilege or the opportunity or even the facility to avail themselves of this great love of God! Conclude with the customary prayer and/or hymn.

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Jesus: We now enter into yet another session of deep intimate interaction – one that can be very effective only when it engages the whole of your being. Hence, cast aside all that distracts you and prevents such a total presence to Me and My word. Take your time over this and pay conscious effort to the stillness of your mind and heart. After a fairly long time of this silence, give Me a brief report of last week’s spiritual progress – mainly to see if there is any area in which you could still grow further in accepting God’s love, making you more fearless.

[Time for silent prayer and reflection]

Jesus: The reflections we suggest for this week are based on the Gospel of the Sunday (and not on the feast of St. Peter). Read this passage slowly and carefully before you focus more concretely on what strikes you and could be the topic of our conversation this week. In this section of the Gospel, I remind My followers that discipleship involves suffering, particularly the suffering and pain involved in saying ‘no’ to Self. This Ego/Self is the most pervasive element in your spiritual make-up and enters into almost everything that you think, say or do. It gives that particular stamp of your personality to all that you are and do. It makes you stand out as someone special and unique! So, while it is good in a sense, it can also be very destructive in that it can very subtly and unconsciously close you to God’s will and also to others, even in small things.

However, one of the key aspects to notice in all this is that when the Self is insecure (largely because of fear) it asserts itself even more strongly. Hence, the reflections we made the last time would be extremely beneficial in your efforts to eliminate the Self in you. All your attachments speak really of the insecure areas of your life. For example, if a person is inordinately attached to parents, isn’t it because s/he somehow wants to retain or prolong the warm, secure, cuddly feeling of being protected and cared for by them? But once the same person realizes, experientially, that God cares for him/her much more than earthly parents could ever do, with all their love and concern, then it becomes possible for him/her to choose God and not parents, if and when there is a clash in the demands of the two parties.

The same would apply to friends, material possessions and whatever else a person could be attached to. It is when the inner self is sensed as being vulnerable that fear predominates and in an atmosphere of fear, security cannot but be the greatest concern. And that is why I suggest, more as a corollary to the initial step of entering into Covenant with the Father, is that every disciple learn to lose that undue concern over the self. (Reflect over this for a while in silence).

Now this losing of Self can happen in at least two major ways: the most ordinary one is when Life itself puts you into circumstances in which you are challenged to lose or let-go of the Self. An example of this would be when someone around you, misjudges your intentions and scolds you or rejects you and no matter how much you explain your position, s/he is just not prepared to change his/her approach. If this situation makes you sad and depressed, especially if this sadness continues for several days, it is a sure sign that the self is still ‘raw’ inside and highly vulnerable. It needs more and extended treatment with God’s healing love. But if in this situation you can do all that is in your power to restore the friendship calmly and respectfully, and then if nothing works, leave it in God’s hands, that would be a good sign that the self is reasonably strong within, assured of the Father’s love, for he sees what is done in secret (your innermost being and real intentions and efforts in this case) and rewards you in secret also. This break up in your friendship (even if and when it occurs) will not prevent you from being creative and inventive in loving others, or making your little world a better place to live in for everyone.

Take several other examples like this (including also your own failings and weaknesses) and see how losing yourself (even your esteem in your own eyes) in reality means less or is less valuable than securing and experiencing God’s unconditional love of you. As one author suggests: each day pray for at least one big humiliation – that will keep you pretty close to God! This approach not only makes you fearless (because you are anchored in his love) but also selfless – and these are the two important conditions for any disciples. St. Luke brings this out powerfully in his way of presenting the Last Supper. Soon after telling the story of the meal, he reports the incident of Judas and then that of Peter – both of whom went counter to the demands of this covenantal love shared in the meal. Judas because of Self, and Peter because of his fears of suffering! So, each time you celebrate Eucharist (and remember Luke’s Last Supper presentation) you have an opportunity to check out how deeply steeped you are in Covenant with the Father and the others around you.

The second way is when you yourself choose to deny the Self in some conscious concrete way. Thus, refraining from having that extra dessert when you would love to eat it, just to satisfy or indulge yourself, would mean saying ‘No’ to oneself. You will have plenty of examples of this kind and it is good to remember that consciously choosing to practice such ‘self-denial’ (not so much with regard to material things, but more with regard to your personal choices and preferences and avoiding things that hurt or displease others) would also help increase your fearlessness!

Gently slip into deep silence and stillness allowing God’s Spirit to strengthen the areas in which your self is still somewhat vulnerable. Don’t be afraid when you discover such sore areas in your life – you will never be able to rid yourself entirely of the Self. That is not important, nor even necessary. What matters is that you are always open to surrender more and more of your life into God’s hands and let him control the direction and pace of your inner growth. You need to be like clay in the hands of the potter – do this, during this period of inner silence and stillness.

At the appropriate moment, reach out to others in petitionary prayer and then conclude with the usual brief prayer or bhajan.

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